So it’s been a while that I’m back in my hometown, Villefranche.
Gordon returned to Turkey. It’s already been more than 2 weeks and I still have two more to go before I join him. It’s a long time to wait but I also appreciate being home and taking time with my family and friends. I can paint too, which is an impossible task on the boat!
We recently went to Belgium together to see my family (see post “An indirect kiss on the forehead”). It was great! I was so happy to see them after 9 years of rare phone calls… I met my cousins’ partners for the first time and so did they with me!
Something really funny (also girly I know…) is that my cousin Marie first went out with her boyfriend Cedric on the 26 of September 2008, which is the exact same day for Gordon and I! We were thrilled! We also realized that we had an extreme amount of things in common. We had a great time together and I was really happy that Gordon met that part of my family. Still got to go visit the Danish and the Italian part but it’s a good beginning!
We saw my grandmother as well, my “Nonna”. I had doubts that she wouldn’t recognize me and they were confirmed. I think she knew I was family though. She seemed to be well and happy. She was smiling a lot and it made me feel good to see her sparkly eyes again! She used to live in France with us. She stayed 3 years and left when I was 15. It was my mom that decided to take care of her when she couldn’t live on her own in Italy anymore. Things were not always easy as my parent’s place is a small apartment. So imagine the scene…my mom and dad sleeping in the living room with our dog, my sister and I still sharing a small room (I was a teen that loved her privacy and independence, mostly like every other one) and Nonna was in my parent’s room. I have to admit that I was not often at home… always tried my best to have as many sleepovers at friend’s places as possible! I loved my grandma but it was hard to see my mom taking care of her 24/7. She also stopped working as much to be more present for her and after 3 years, our incomes were getting lower everyday.
It’s been a few years that my dad has troubles bringing money in and it’s not even his fault. Ever since Europe opened up its doors a little more around 2003/2004, a huge amount of people came to live here. My dad used to have a small company. They painted boats and did refits. But after a while, he had to close it because boats’ owners were hiring people from Slavic countries that worked for way cheaper and that were younger… Don’t misunderstand me though; I think that the opening of Europe was something truly great. Like in everything else in life, they are good and bad consequences when something new comes around. As long as you keep trying and smiling, no worries!
So we eventually couldn’t follow everything anymore and my mom’s brothers came from Belgium as quickly as they left to take my grandmother with them. I was 15 and only now, I saw her again.
When we arrived at the retirement place where she stays now, I had to do my best not to cry. It was so special to see her again and to realize how faraway she is now, in everyway. She stays in a small room with an other old lady who is 97 and who does nothing but sleeps all the time. Except from my uncle’s visits, life is not very exciting for her. She was sitting there at the table in front of her roommate (asleep on the table) and was staring into space. I wanted to hug her and to tell her that I missed her so much; I wanted to tell her all about my life and to ask her about hers. I wanted to take her away, bring her back to Italy, where she belongs. Bring her back to that house, now lost, where she could feel the presence of her love, my grandfather Salvatore. He died of the “black lung” after years working in the mines when I was little and I don’t remember much about him.
I know he had beautiful green eyes.
I wish I could have done all that. But I knew that my grandma was older and I had to be prepared to face someone else, someone different that what I remembered. So I behaved and kissed her hello, we gave her some flowers and stayed for a while. She was smiling.
Then we left, kissed her goodbye…
My cousin Francois is getting married in August and she probably won’t be able to attend. My family thinks she will be too confused and that it will be hard for her, as she doesn’t walk that well anymore. Adding her bigger and bigger memory loss, it would really be difficult; I understand. I do find it very sad though. If only I could be closer to her...
Mia Nonna cara,
Spero che la tua vita ti piace bene. Spero che puoi sentire il nostro amore da dove sei. Magari nelle tuoi sogni…Ti voglio tanto bene.
Alla prossima volta.
